Conversations (like a game of chess)

Imagine a game of chess.

Each piece (character) of the game comes with rules on how it can be used, in what direction it can be moved. Every move made by the player is strategically planned (out of the rules how the piece can be moved combined with how you want the game to proceed), you need to think several steps ahead to play it well (including trying to figure out how the other player is thinking). The two players take turn to play and when competing you just have a certain time frame to make your move.

This is very similar to how a conversation can be like for an autistic person.

We need to be actively concious about every step during the conversation, for example;

• Thinking about all the rules related to social communication (including the variation of rules in different contexts; with family, close friends, strangers, colleagues etc)
• Putting the words together to sentences (incl finding the words to start with)
• Deciphering the non verbal language and indirect meanings etc
• Anticipating what the upcoming steps may be (incl understanding when to take your steps)

And all of this within a certain, very tight, time frame.

I think it makes sense that we get energy drained by most of the social conversation we participate in and that we sometimes may come across as a bit slow or akward vs the normative expectations…