I feel it all

I love listening to lyrics that I feel put words on things that are difficult for myself to put words on. Parts of the artist Fia´s song “I feel it all” is an example of that.

I am in close connection with my feelings and they affect my daily life, for good and for bad. I can get intense emotions triggered at any point, by triggers or (more direct) associations. Combined with difficulties to regulate emotions, it makes sense that I often get overwhelmed by my inner turbulent world and that I often get exhausted.

Today, in the morning, I had such experience, with an intense emotional (searching for the right word…) “attack” and it has affected my whole day. I wish I didn´t function like this. It´s one of my biggest challenges in life in general, since it is with me the whole time, no matter what I do or where I am. However, I keep working on it as much as I can but to some extent I know I need to come to acceptance of my way of functioning and primarily be very self compassionate towards it all.

Grief, joy, sadness, worry, anger, disapointment, happiness, shame, pride, rejection, passion, irritation, frustration, hope, hopelessness, excitement, loneliness, optimism… I feel it all and I feel it intensly. Sometimes I like this trait but way too often it is a struggle.

I am one of those who can’t keep it in
And I feel as if I have no skin
Walking through this world is intense
When you have no defense

I’ve been called too sensitive
Too much of everything

When flowing in my brilliance
I’m tuned in, tapped in, turned on
And I feel it all, I feel it all

Let’s dive deep into our human mess
Ain’t got time for skimming surfaces
No, I want to meet you soul to soul
Right away come on let’s go

– Fia Lotta Josefina Forsström –